IC Inbox

[hellawrath]

Need something set on fire? Leave a message with Taako at Fantasy Walmart in the temple ruins and Lup might hit you up!

But you better bribe Taako or it'll go something like this
[3:02:15 PM] Jazzy:
"some dude wanted to talk to you"
[3:02:29 PM] Laura:
"was he hot"
[3:02:37 PM] Jazzy:
"nah"
[3:02:51 PM] Laura:
"nevermind then"

Comments

ew

[hellawrath]

Lup's in agreement for sure, valuable ass-busting wares just languishing in the late afternoon shade by themselves is not cool at all, is kind of a bummer actually? Haven't they been teaching their merry band of post-apocalyptic goblins anything? Like, sure, running the store is honestly pretty boring, which is at least partly why she doesn't do it herself all that much unless Taako is there to bother, but-- nah, she can't really fault 'em here, can she.

"Pretty sure it was one of the lil tykes," she points out. So that's a no, on the yelling. At least it was when she grabbed Taako for whatever lame ass island job that they inevitably blew off in favor of some quality twin time.

She sighs and unhooks her arm from his to wander over, check if anything obvious has been stolen yet. Nothing seems to be missing, in fact there's a pile of some kinda scarf like, extra? She lifts up a corner. It peeps at her.

"Hey uhm, quick q? Since when are we running a Petco?"

[ohshitsweetflips]

"Uhh," is Taako's intelligent and helpful response, trailing after her. "Is that a fuckin bird?" He's doing a great job processing this really. He's bound to be caught up any second now.

He looks around, like maybe the storeminder is gonna amble back over from somewhere, explain why this bird, but that notably does not happen.

"Do we...accept birds? As like. Currency?" His words gain steam as he carries on, going through at least a couple of the five stages of something. "Is this a goof, are we being dunked on? ...Is this like. Who the fuck is this bird??"

[hellawrath]

Well it's not a fucking pile of free diamonds, dumbass, get your head in the mystery bird game! At the idea that they're on some kinda fantasy Jackass she looks around suspiciously, ears perked for any sign of laughter or a recording device, but again, nobody's around, nothing happens. Did... do any of the kids like, own, a bird? No, right? She'd have noticed if there was another bird in camp. Besides the prissy one her brother is dating.

The bird of contention is getting visibly displeased with the two figures looming over it, joining their agitated chorus with its own offended peeping. She gets it; Taako's increasing lack of chill is kinda infectious.

"It's your store, Taako!" Which it only is when something's wrong with it. "You should fuckin know if you told anybody we're taking credit birds now!"

[ohshitsweetflips]

Of course that's how it works. "I mean, I definitely didn't, in so many words. And I get it, lotta dicks in the kitchen lately, wires are gonna get crossed, shifts are gonna get missed, birds are gonna be used as payment. Happens."

The bird does seem to be part of the general consensus that this is make confused noise time. Taako cautiously reaches out and puts one finger on the bird's head, like he's hoping that's its snooze button. He frowns but isn't surprised when that turns out not to be the case.

"Maybe it wants to buy something, you never even thought about that, did you. Coulda been here for hours, deffo gonna get a complaint over this one." He elbows Lup breezily, in case she's maybe missing the humor in this. "Hey bird you wanna see the manager? Us too!"

[hellawrath]

Alright well Taako just kind of, honking?? the bird?? is pretty fucking funny and it drives home the realization of just how dumb this all is, even before he's helpfully jostling her. If this is a goof it's not exactly the callout of the century, the lil chicken nugget isn't even wearing a stupid hat? Scarf's not a bad accessory, though.

Or it's a customer, fuck. It's defs bitching enough to be one, probably calling them lazy immigrants in some bird dialect. Goddammit now she's giggling, stop it, this is serious! The question remains, who is responsible for this bird?

And then a terrible and profound thought hits her and she grabs Taako's arm with super dramatic urgency. "What if, hear me out here-- What if this is the manager?"

[ohshitsweetflips]

Taako meets her gaze with an odd combination of shock and amusement at this proposal. He definitely hadn't considered that option. And it's definitely hilarious. Like, bad? But a little funny. "Fuck! Plo~t twi~st," he sing-songs, leaning down to eye the bird in a new light. What's he even looking for, he's not some kind of bird scientist.

"I mean I guess I didn't say not to turn into a bird. Wasn't in the ol' employee handbook." He'll be serious when he's dead. Which, all things considered, will probably be never. Still, humor aside, this is starting to engage his sense of mystery. "Why, though?"

[hellawrath]

She knew he'd be down for this angle, both metaphorically and literally. And she goes down right with him, perfectly twin timed, leaning over his shoulder obnoxiously as if this bird was under a fucking microscope.

"Hey you're the one who keeps threatening to turn urchins into frogs. Maybe they like, they decided to beat you to it!" And in a particularly dumb voice reserved for babies and, indeed, small animals, she coos, "This is all a biiig fuck you to ol' Uncle Taako, isn't it, you clever little furry."

[ohshitsweetflips]

Yeah but he doesn't actually do it (so far). So way to steal his thunder, bird.

"It's not furry when it's birds, Lup!" Is the worst argument he's ever reflexively made, thanks, and he regrets it immediately. "Everyone knows that."

"...So this bird isn't really like. A person, right?" He carries on in much more hushed tones, now eyeing the bird from a more respectful distance. "It seems kinda mad."

[hellawrath]

He's not wrong, she actually has to do a double take and stare at him judgmentally to really drive home how dumb what he just said was? How could he make her cognitively process something so lame? She thought he was her brother!

Anyway, "I mean you were pretty p.o.'d when you were a bird, dude." Man, the possibility that this bird is a person continues to look more likely than it really should. "Can't you just like, talk to it? Turn into a bird and ask it where its parents are, Taako, it's the responsible thing to do." And they're all about that shit here at child labor central.

[ohshitsweetflips]

Now he gets to be offended in a whole new way, which is pretty impressive, considering the last few minutes. Like she gets to lecture him on responsibility, he is so good at being responsible, shut up. "Birds are dumb, Lulu! I can't ask this bird shit. The responsible thing would have been for you to get Detect Magic from your bunny-buddy."

He goes to scoop up the bird and then stops, hands hovering with more concern than he'd care to admit. Who the fuck is this bird. "We can't just leave it here, right? Nah, we can't."